Camp Rehab

>Editor's note: I wrote this back in July but never posted it. Please, enjoy the rant!

I went to New York. I moved to a new house. My son has developed all kinds of neuroses (?) neurosises(?) neurosi (?) crazy new personality ticks due to the move. I went to the beach. I am supposed to be searching for grants for Pillow Academy. I have slacked off in every aspect of my life. I never forgot about you!

My friend, Paige, wants me to chime in on the trendy super hot spot of the moment - rehab. I should title this entry: Rehab and the idiots who go there for publicity and not to get the real help that is offered. Prison is a close second on the celebrity top 5 summer respites.

What is there to say about Lindsay, Britney, Paris, Mel Gibson, Nicole and her alleged fetus that hasn't already been satirized and made fun of by absolutely everybody. Apprarently, you're nobody until somebody plans an intervention for you.

Did you see Alec's brother, Daniel Baldwin, on that ABC special report? His rehab place looked like a spa. I could use a rest and I'd like to go where the action is hot, the therapy is cool and the sincerity is lukewarm. Sounds kind of like camp. How's the food? Could I get a tan there? Can I study Kabbalah? Make a lanyard?

I'm so there!